Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

first black bear with two cubs spotted of the year
first Mt Kidd RV park ice cream
first call in 6 tours - thanks g.s! maimed but not dead!

yes, all the makings of a great day. Topped off with sunny skies and freshly powdered mountains.

So for the month of April I endevored to not purchase anything but consumables packaged in re-cyclable packaging.

I ended up purchasing about $150.00 worth of stuff. There were a couple of dinners at restaurants / coffees, some groceries and a bar of soap.

Of the recycling challenge I think I did fairly well execept for the last weekend. Three syrofoam "plates" snuck in with the groceries. I was doing so well!!! Technically syrofoam can be recycled (usually listed as #6) and it is one of the few items that can be easily recycled into more styrofoam. However, there doesn't seem to be anyone doing that. So it ends up in the land fills -sigh.

On the plus side: Ursa minor hooked me up with free cycle calgary. It is truly evil. It also appears to be in set up in most major cities. I recommend that anyone with dutch / packrat mentalities avoid signing up. Nature abhores a vaccuume.
The city of Calgary has started its recycling pick ups. After the first week they reported having 2/3 more of a response to it than they expected. So they need to re-vamp their origional projections. I am totally applauding Calgaryians! As Catalytic pointed out - it was obviously much needed and over due.

Summer is booking up for me. May is almost full already and June is well on its way. I need more than 24 hrs in a day!

Catalytic and I have been out riding our motorbikes. It so totally rocks. I so want a crotch rocket. :> Right now I have a Suzuki 550 which works really well for me, but I dream of my BMW RT 1200 or my aprilla..... sigh.

The garden is starting to come along. I am hoping to put seed to ground this next tour off. I know it is not the may long weekend yet, but I have faith.

Catalytic started his new job the other day and it seems to be a good fit with him.

Life is busy and mostly good. ... as usual. :>

For the month of April I have made it a challenge of mine to not purchase anything other than consumables that has only recyclable packaging. One of my main motivations for this was being inspired by a group from Vancouver that has vowed to do the same for a year to become aware of our society's gross consumerism.
So as of two weeks in I have purchase 75$ in groceries, all of which can be recycled execpt for a tetra pack. I totally didnt think about that when I purchase the chicken stock. I was too focused on how awesome the risotto was going to be. Perhaps I shall make amends by using the tetra pack for some seedlings I am starting for my veggie garden. That may asage my guilt - technicly recycling....
I won't say I have not had the urge to buy stuff. I have been keen to get my hands an a kayaking guidebook for the Red Deer river to supplement my plans and dreams of this summer. But that can easily wait for May. I have been sorely tempted by the ever evil Michaels craft store and their uber aisle of scrapbook paper. Honestly, I have a folder full of paper, and certainly don't need more for a while. So what is this craving? This desire I keep having to go into stores. My mind keeps attempting to seduce me with seductive words like "we'll only go and look - window shop. It doesn't mean we have to buy anything." Yeah right. I know my weaknesses. There is definatly this compulsion to have. The thrill of instant gratification of aquiring STUFF. There is a mental addition that has us convinces that STUFF = HAPPY. There are moments where I am getting seriously bummed that I am not allowing myself to go and get more stuff. I don't NEED stuff. I have lots of stuff at home. In fact I have so much stuff that I have another building to store some of it in. I have closets of stuff waiting to be made into other stuff, I have rooms filled with stuff that have been there so long I have forgotten about their existance.
I admire my older brother and his ernest effort for several years to free himself from the consumerist yolk of needing stuff. I can completely see his point. It was sharply brought to my attention this past summer when I was helping a friend clean out his basement that was full of -you guessed it- stuff. We brought a lot of now useless STUFF to the dump where we lined up with fourty odd so other cars also dumping car loads of now useless or unwanted STUFF into the landfills. The two of us were discussing how nature abhores a vacuume and soon most of these people will be out buying more STUFF to fill the void they created that day. We made several trips that day and each trip was the same. Cars lined door to door tossing out heaps of STUFF. If this was done like us - seven times that day - each and every day the mounds of STUFF that have filled that one land fill is mind boggling. Times that by three landfills in Calgary times how many in Canada - the world- It all very soon starts looking frighteningly close to the movie Walle.
So, with that in mind, I spent the evening scrapbooking with the paper I had, added another recycling bin to our house to encourage more recycling. My other goal is to have one grocery bag of garbage a week for the two of us. I did some internet searches on the Red Deer River and its topography. I made a mental plan to get my library card and see what guide books are available publicly. When I start feeling lazy about my impact on the planet I sit down and watch Walle again, and get re-dedicated to my goal.

working for a buddy out at station 94 (Priddis). It is just about as busy of a station as K country ie: not at all.

I am so not looking forward to the delivery of yet more snow. I am so freaking tired of the stuff. I know, I know, no one needs to hear yet another person bitch about the snow. I suppose I should be happy I am not out in K country tonight where there is a heavy snowfall warning. :>

It could always be worse. We could be in North Dakota! - ya eh.

I got to go to the zoo the other day with me mum and neices and catalytic. It was an awesome day to watch the Otters (my favorite), koalas, baby giraffe and I finally got to see the sting rays. I was very pleased to see that they no longer allow the dirty humans to "pet" the rays. Really how did they ever think that they could keep those suckers alive with hordes of walking petrie dishes fondeling the wee critters??? They were super cool and so graceful to watch.

Elephants poo out one Catalytic worth of poo every day, fyi.

so there you have it. Your life is complete now. :>

I read a short article in the recent Mountain equipment catalog about an appartment of three people in BC that have challenged each other to not buy anything but consumables that are only packaged in recylced packaging for one year. No books, no clothes, nothing but food and toiletries. They each have their own garbage can, and at the end of the year the person who has the least amount of garbage wins.

I have decided to take a similar challenge for one month. I don't think I can honestly sustain a year of it. I believe it will point out my consumerist / instant gratification cycle that is so supported by our society. Nothing points something out more than not being able to do it.

So for the month of April I am vowing to only buy food and toiletries. Those items I do buy must be packaged entierly in recyclable packaging. For one month I will make do with the mountains of "stuff" I already have.

If anyone had told me two years ago I would be scrap booking, let alone spending a weekend at a retreat doing nothing but I would have laughed in their face. Yet, I had a fabulous time this past weekend "gluing shit to paper". Scrapbooking is totally that kindergarden craft time I so loved, but with the adult touch of style. Not to mention I got to spend it chatting with two awesome friends. The hot tub rocked! :> (It wasn't ALL scrapbooking!)

I am always stunned at how long it takes to make a page. We arrived friday at 2 ish and left Sunday at 5 and I only completed 36 or so pages. Gifted_spirit went hard core and never went to bed sat night, opting to scrap book for about 38 hours straight. Crazy chick!

Canmore was beautiful as always. I highly recommend Treo restaurant if anyone is in the area. The food was beyond amazing, the restaurant quiet and spacious. I even got to say hi to Canadian Knight's mom who bopped in with her friend for dinner shortly after we got there.

I'm hoping to do some cross country skiing this week before the snow all melts. I am also eyeing a kayak trip with a buddy for mid summer. Should be fun. Three days paddling down the Red Deer River. Awesome-ness. The U of C also has an intermediate kayak course that is of a resonable price, and I am also considering that.

I am dying for the snow to melt in the city so I can get back on my motor bike and put some miles under my ass that way. Not to mention I have been pining for my garden more this winter than most. I have big plans.... :>

I took out another wall in my house. For those that know it the section between the kitchen and the hall is no more. It should rock for the parties. Now I just have to get motivated to finish the project. I am really good at the dismantle part.... LOL. sigh.

There is about a month left of the ski hill by work being open. After that we are plunged into the painful lull season. No skiers, no campers yet. Boring as HELL!!! That is until the May long weekend hits.

My french sucks, but none the less I am tutoring my friends 12 year old in it. My french may be bad, but it is better than his. Besides, making up the lessons, and then teaching it is an awesome way for me to learn / retain the info myself. And its rewarding in many ways.

I started up a photography group with my younger brother. We both kind of had a similar idea at the same time, of getting a bunch of photography types together to discuss, take photos etc. So we are collaborating and making it happen. If you are interested check out my facebook page under groups. (if you can find it with the annoying new format...)

Saw Watchman last week. It rocked! 'nuf said. (mind you I have not read the graphic novel)

That's pretty much that in a nut shell
peace out

A very super happy birthday to Ursa_Minor and Bork (I know I'm a day early). Here's hoping you both have a year filled with Uber Win!

I got back last night from Edmonton. Gifted spirit and I have been planning a trip up there for three months now to go see "Heights of Fashion". It is a show at the Royal Albert Museum (Until March 8) that showcases the evolution of the high heel from the pattens of the 1400's to the platforms of the 70's and stillettos of todays heels. It was a small show, but well presented none the less. It is one of the traveling shows that the Bata shoe museum has. I was doing some reading on the preservation, and extent of the collection of the Bata museum and was irked to find out that two years ago on catalytic's and my spontanious trip to Toronto I had walked right by the place completely unaware. I suppose that just means there will be another trip to TO in the future.

We stayed at a boutique hotel right on Whyte avenue called The Varscona. I first ran into the concept of a boutique hotel on the Toronto trip. It is a hotel that instead of opting for having the usual ammenities of pool, restaurant etc. It puts greater emphasis on room comfort, valet service, etc. I am really starting to appreciate the diffent focus. I have found that I never really use any of the standard ammenities, and so for them to focus on the items I do use (king sized beds with thick pillow tops, super thick fluffy towels), I'm sold!

On our trip I got my sushi fix and some East indian curry. I had a happy belly. I love wandering Whyte Ave. The stores rock. There is such a huge array of shops from the knick nack dust collector stores, antique stores, kitchen stores. The whole avenue is packed with win. I only regret that we didn't make it to Sanctuary (a wee goth store) but in all honesty I didn't really have money to spend anyways, so it was probably a very good thing in the long run. :> I was lacking will power.

Great old song from the weekend:

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned

But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

They're so hell bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly hiher and higher
I can't abide standing outside the fire

The two of us got back to the city with enough time to drop everything off and then Catalytic and I boogied over to my Aunt's place for our weekly family dinner. This weekly dinner is a fairly new concept to my family. For as long as I can remember my immediate family got together twice a year (easter and christmas usually) for dinner and that was about it. We occasionally would pop in to see other members for coffee, but that was rare. My sister in law decided she needed more community. Her family is very group oriented and going from that to our .... secular family must have been quite the contrast. With the help of my Aunt we now rotate houses that a large family dinner is held at for not only my family, but extended family as well. And it is wonderful. I really look forward to catching up with everyone, the growing comfort of interacting with extended family that was never there before. Not to mention the food is great. Last night was home made lasagna, ceaser salad and buns, and blueberry cakey thing for dessert. mmmm! I am really glad for this new tradition.

I'm back at work now for a couple of days. Waiting for the afternoon carnage. Love it!

I officially have no motivation. -I blame the poutienb

work safe and totally worth the time.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6kO6HLC0T8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYhqTx17EiE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCNIBV87wV4 I highly encourage searching out more of Taylor Mali's preformances for those of us with a literary bent.

This morning I made some killer banana chocolate chunk bran muffins. It totally has to be the tastiest way to get fiber! LOL The annoying part is that as I was pulling them out of the oven the tones went off and I had to go to work. I could smell the muffins on my clothes as we bombed up to the ski hill in what is sure to be the first of many calls on the beautiful day! (The muffins were still warm when I got back. :>)

It has been a good but busy week this past week. I had noble intentions of getting together with many people for coffee, but I seriously couldn't find the time. Perhaps this tour off coming up I hope, I hope, I hope.

Monday was a pub night, seeing a bunch of friends I had not seen since Nov. It was good to catch up with everyone and hear about the fantastic Christmas' had by all.

Tuesday Ms CK and I drove up to Red Deer. I went to visit an old family friend who's wife passed away in the fall from a stroke, and he is having some difficulties dealing with the loneliness. It was really hard to hear about his isolation and life as it is right now. He doesn't have a large support network of friends, his wife was his main friend. The hardest was watching him shuffle back into his house alone after we said our good byes. I remember him as such a happy old welsh sailor who used to go out sailing with my family every weekend in his own boat. In the evenings I would be in awe listening to him play his accordion singing "Waltzing Matilda" and other songs. I was stunned that a person could have the dexterity to play an accordion. Your hands and arms were all doing different things! I have resolved to visit him more often. I do enjoy his company, and miss him. I think he became smitten with Ms. CK too. :> After we left him the two of us drove over to my grandparents for a short visit and coffee with them. Ms CK had never seen all of my grandfather's pen and ink artwork and I think she was rather impressed with the volume of work he put out in the past 20 years. Just last month he turned 91, and my grandmother 89 before that. I also got an opportunity to chat with my Aunt that I rarely see. She is doing really well. She stays home taking care of my grandparents who definitely need some full time care at this stage. Exhausted from the socializing we drove home. I had a great day catching up with everyone including Ms. CK whom I don't see nearly enough.

Wednesday I spent the morning sitting on the couch in the sun with my cats curled up around me reading. It was peaceful bliss. In the afternoon J and I got motivated to check out an art show that was displayed at the Trepanier Baer Gallery. Grame Patterson has come up with the interesting concept of creating this small dolls that are stereotypical depictions of people in society (the basketball gangsta', the old lady with the wheely cart, the artsy guy in a sweater and scarf etc.) The dolls stand about 6" high. His thought is that for a mere $1400 you can buy a doll, and he will take a photo of you and replace that doll in his collection with a doll of you. When this doll is sold he will do the same with the new owner. Thereby eventually creating a new composition of 'society'. However, my thought is that if his plan works what he will do is change over the cross section of society he has now with a collection consisting of art collectors only. It seems to me to be strictly limiting the scope of the work in one evolution. From there J and I spent the afternoon reading and writing at Steeps on 17th. It is so great to see a tea store doing well, being what seems to be a niche market kind of place. The evening was spent at home chilling working on my doll house. Yes, I have a doll house. It is one of those basic wood frames that you do everything for. I have been applying siding for the past month. It is kind of detail slow work, but it is turning out really well. I have also been putting up the wall paper and flooring. I wish my real house renovations went as quickly as the doll house's does. I laid in the main electrical several months ago, and have been finding it a major challenge to get the plug ins inserted in the tiny spaces once the wall paper is up. Luckily I have small hands and a modicum of patience. The porch light is up, and soon the foyer light will be too. The chimneys have the brick work applied, and the stacks painted. Because I'm me, the house has an "Addams family" slant to it. I am looking forward to working in the attic. I want to make it the kids play area with a guillotine and electrical chair! >:) Should be fun to create those miniatures.

Thursday was a usual day before my shift kind of day. Laundry, shopping, packing etc. It was fantastic out (+10'C) and I loved driving around with my windows down soaking up the sun and warmth. It was an early night to bed, as my husband stayed up to kill some zombies with "left 4 dead". That type of video game is so not for me. I tried playing it, really tried. I just can't wrap my head around the one control for just looking around and another control for moving. So Zombies are eating me and I am staring at the sky shooting who knows where and panicking, and all the verbal outpouring that goes with that. I just can't deal with games that make me more stressed. I will leave that up to the boys. I'll stick with lego batman and star wars. Sad, but true. :>

Friday was another amazing weather day. I sat on the deck at work and studied for an upcoming course I have. It is time for my bi-yearly ACLS recert. (advanced cardiac life support). In the late afternoon (actually just as we were getting our starbucks coffee from the ski hill concession) an old co-worker of mine came by for a visit. He is recently back in Alberta after a brief stint in Ont that didn't pan out. It was so good to see him. Sadly he is going through a divorce right now, and its pretty hard on him. He was mentioning how he looks back and there are so many things he wishes he would have done differently; his part in issues that led to where he is. He was telling me that the biggest wish is that he had told his wife all those little things that bothered him, or that he was upset about when they occurred. Instead he held them in, afraid of looking like a possessive boyfriend, or irrational, or weak, or that he was in the wrong. Instead the issues piled up un-said and un-delt with in the corner until the pile became so large and tangled that there was no place to begin sorting it all out. He told me "if given a chance again I would risk looking like an idiot, or mean, or irrational if it ment that I could still be with her." Instead it only furthe pushed her away as she got tired of trying to pry what was bothering him out of him, or tired of feeling like the only one attempting to resolve issues. That really hit home with me. I have long believed that issues need to get aired right away, then a constructive discussion can happen and fears can be laid to rest and a happy life can continue. His biggest issue with all this is the loneliness. The shopping for groceries for one, the going for walks alone etc. It seems to be a theme this week. Loneliness.

Its saturday now, another wicked sunny warm day. I have already been to the ski hill once for a back injury. I plan on finishing up the ACLS studying, working on some income tax BS that the government is accusing me of, and maybe some reading of a fiction novel I am enjoying, all crammed between the calls I expect to start very soon.

I hope everyone else is having a grand time. Hugs to all.

Leave it to a bunch of EMS workers to get caught up in a bunch of 'you think that's bad!..' vomit stories at 8am!

Certainly a colorful way to start my day. :>

NB: this is full of dark EMS humor; sorry if you don't find it funny, but we sure do!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and we enjoyed some rare leisure.
Not a call was being dispatched, not even a petit mal seizure.

Our backup crew was nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of post-duty rum and cokes danced in their heads;

My partner up front, and I in the back
Had just settled down for a brief winter's nap.

When out on the avenue arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the squad bench to see what was the matter.

The sound of giant skids scraped across metal roofs
Caused me to glance up and see eight sets of hoofs;

And what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a massive sleigh, a fat man and eight tiny reindeer.

With the little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

But something was wrong, I could tell right away,
'Cause the chubby old guy had lost control of his sleigh.

Whoa, Dasher! Whoa, Dancer! Whoa, Prancer and Vixen!
Get control, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!

They slid off the room, falling 30 feet in a flash,
With the same kind of impact as a high-speed car crash.

Unbelted on impact and thrown from the sled,
My first thought was that St. Nick was gonna be dead.

As I bent over his body and moved bloody hair on his head,
I uncovered the type of fracture my partner and I dread.

The unsecured red sack of toys in Santa's sled
Had flown forward on impact and cracked open his head.

My first reaction was that he was a patient to be flown
To the trauma center located on the far side of town.

When I yelled to the IC to send me a bird,
He looked back at me like I had said a bad word.

The frown on his face told me that my EMS mentor
Disagreed with my request to fly to the centre

I walked quickly over to the chief to discuss
Why my air request seemed to be creating a fuss.

With a few well-chosen words, he asked me to consider
In which vehicle I thought my patient would do better.

"You can use a ground rig that can leave right away,
Or wait on scene for a chopper that will result in a delay."

The look on my face must have said I wasn't aware
Why there'd be a delay if I sent the old guy by air.

"If he was trapped in the wreckage, a different story I'd say,
But he's free, in bad shape and can't tolerate delay."

"If you leave now by ground you'll arrive in a quarter hour,
And I'll bet you'll get there before the bird gets to full power."

"When time, distance and speed matter, choppers are the key,
But only adding launch time, flight distance and logistics sell me."

He summed up his message in the form of a rhyme:
"You see, friend of mine, it's not about speed - it's all about time."

As I sent Santa out by ground and not air,
I realized my mentor was no longer there.

But I heard him chuckle as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

-Dec JEMS by AJ Heightman

Happiest of winter-holiday-of-your-choice to everyone out there.

I was so happy the ski hill opened. Bring on the calls! However, apparently people dont like skiing in -28'C weather. Who knew.

So it is quiet at work again. Getting some reading done. I have to study for my bi-annual requiered courses. When I get tired of that (ok, truth is I have been completely avoiding that reading) I have been reading a great book called "When the mob ran Vegas". It is light historical mob related fluff. Great for a wintery day with a cup of tea.

Christmas is pretty much just sitting back and relaxing. Catalytic was recently ill, but seems to be on the mend now. He has agreed to help with the last few christmas to do list things which is super nice of him. There are many family parties planned, and I am looking forward to it. My aunt recently moved back to Alberta from BC and when her desire for family-ness is mixed with my sister in laws I guess it is enought to move the inerta laiden family into group activites! It is nice. My family has always been extremely loyal but never 'close'. Perhaps this will change that.

The Canadian non-trad was fun this year. I am always impressed with the creativity that people bring to the food and gifts. The candian theme brought PEI clam chowder, moose stew, Leek and potatoe soup, tortier, co-op chicken and swiss challet sauce, bannic, venison, wild boar, Kraft dinner, poutiene, split pea soup, grilled cheese sandwiches with canadian ham, a couple ginger beef, ceaser drink ingredients, saskatoon pie, short bread inukshuks, maple glaze Tim Horton doughnuts. Seriously, all was awesome!! And as always it rocked to visit my friends and catch up with them and their lives.

If I don't get a chance to say it to everyone individually, Merry Christmas everyone. I love's you all!

Zastrazzi visited me last night at work! And he brought some yummy happiness! It made me smile!

Every now and then at work we get sent thank you cards from our patients. They mean a great deal to me. It is nice to know that the efforts we do are appreciated, even though I know it is my job, and something I love doing just for the sake of doing it. I really don't expect cards, and it is always a pleasent surprise to recieve one. It is also super cool to hear how the patient is doing, as we often don't know hear anything once we leave the ER with our empty gear.

Once and a while we get thank you cards from the families of deceased patients. Quite often it is from codes we ran (heart attacks) that were unsuccessful in resucitation. I never really know what to do with these.

We have a bulliten board by the kitchen where we post thank you cards, and pictures that we get. It doesn't seem right to post the obituary cards up there though. Often after a death I have a morbid need to read the patients obituary in the paper. To know more about the person than just their name, birth date and size of ETT we put in. I have thought about cutting out the clippings, but what would you do with it? If you compiled it into a book that would be damn morbid and depressing looking back on the 10 years of fatalities. So I never have. I do my best to let it go, and carry on.

I am utterly aware, tangibly aware how short life is and how completely random and unpredictable times of death are. I believe that helps with the letting go. I think some people see me being cold, impersonal and callous because of it. I know some people see me as impatient and never satisfied. I just KNOW we don't have much time here, and I don't want to waste any of it. but I digress....

I feel it is important to remember. To learn. It would kill me if I were forgotten, utterly kill me. I suppose that is why I don't know what to do with the obits. I don't want these people to be forgotten, and yet I would not be able to do my job if I took each fatality to heart.

Yesterday we recieved the "in loving memory" card in the mail. Obituaries I can leave in the newspaper, but this.... I can't bring myself to post it on the board, and I can't bring myself to put it in the garbage or shred it. Dumb. It's a piece of paper. I suppose I will leave it on the work desk. Perhaps someone else shall decide it's fate for me.

To Conjita Diabola!!!

I recently read this quote: "Be sensative, tune in, and do good. As long as your heart is into what you're doing you're guarenteed to do it right."

I have to disagree with this statement. I have seen that you need more than just honest intent. Even if your intent is the purest, if your actions are not interpreted as you intend them it doesn't matter one iota what was in your heart at the time. And sadly we have no control over how our actions are interpreted.

any thoughts?