I got to watch a friends kid attend his first JuJitsu competition. I think I was more nervous about the fight than he was. The little guy lost both the fights, but told me he had a great time, and proceeded to run around the dojo with his friends like the monkey he is.

The rest of the fighting was great to watch. Particularly as the age and skill levels increased.

It got me itching to fight again. I'm sure that will pass though. :>

I had a busy tour off planned, then through no one's fault or design things just kind of fell through here and there. Its all good, but kind of left me with a meh. feeling at the end. All the changes did allow me to finish making the steampunky bomber style winter jacket I have been working on. The stuff I did do this tour off was a lot of fun.
- seeing "the Hangover" : Highly recommend for college humor types
- catching up with a good friend over breakfast
- ice skating which I haven't done in 9 or so years. I forgot how much of a work out that is.
- playing games with fiends
- curling up to watch "Victorian Farm" : awesome series for history buffs
- got out riding my motorbike and managed to not get hypothermic
- Car was fixed by the mechanic in record time. Yay for new rear shocks and struts. Boo for my wallet!

Drove into Calgary this morning to take some fiends up on a breakfast invite. The bacon and coffee totally made it worth while. The blue skies and golden fields backed by snow topped mountains was a nice touch too.

I have awesome friends that care a lot about me. I am very lucky. (and they feed me bacon)

So I had another year of spending my favorite holiday at work. It really wasn't all that bad actually. It was definitely the right crew to work with for the season. We carved pumpkins, and set them alight with rolls of kerosene/ diesel soaked toilet paper (a full roll will burn for about an hour). We played Carcasonne and ate roasted pumpkin seeds. We gorged ourselves on garlic chicken (thankfully there were no patients!) and jambalaya, topped off with chocolate cake.

It's a tough job, but some one's got to do it!

Sun comes up, it's Tuesday morning
Hits me straight in the eye
Guess you forgot to close the blind last night
Oh, that's right, I forgot, it was me

I sure do miss the smell of black coffee in the morning,
The sound of water splashing all over the bathroom,
The kiss that you would give me even though I was sleeping,
But I kind of like the feel of this extra few feet in my bed
Telephone's ringing, but I don't answer it
'cause everybody knows that good news always sleeps till noon

Guess it's tea and toast for breakfast again
Maybe I'll add a little T.V. too
No milk! God, how I hate that
Guess I'll go to the corner, get breakfast from Jenny
She's got a black eye this morning, `Jen how'd ya get it?'
She says, `Last night, Bobby got a little bit out of hand'

Lunchtime. I start to dial your number
Then I remember so I reach for something to smoke
And anyways I'd rather listen to Coltrane
Than go through all that shit again

There's something about an afternoon spent doing nothing
Just listening to records and watching the sun falling
Thinking of things that don't have to add up to something
And this spell won't be broken
By the sound of keys scraping in the lock

Maybe tonight it's a movie
With plenty of room for elbows and knees
A bag of popcorn all to myself,
Black and white with a strong female lead
And if I don't like it, no debate, I'll leave

Here comes that feeling that I'd forgotten
How strange these streets feel
When you're alone on them
Each pair of eyes just filled with suggestion
So I lower my head, make a beeline for home
Seething inside

Funny, I'd never noticed
The sound the streetcars make as they pass my window
Which reminds me that I forgot to close the blind again
Yeah, sure I'll admit there are times when I miss you
Especially like now when I need someone to hold me
But there are some things that can never be forgiven
And I just gotta tell you
That I kinda like this extra few feet in my bed

As a child we have parents to call us on our shit. When we screw up or do something that is socially inappropriate or less than optimal our parents call us on it. It is how we learn what is acceptable and what is not.

Perhaps a lack of being forth right by the parents in letting us know what is cool or uncool is how we develop passive agressive tendencies. It re-enforces the notion that direct confrontation is also unacceptable.

So as adults we are expected to have learned what is and is not socially acceptable by this point. It should not be up to the other adults around us to "call us on our shit". We should all be self aware enough by now to recognise when we are playing the system to get what we want. For the odd time our internal demons are tricky and disguise it well enough that we don't see it, hopefully we have some close friends who are bold enough to clear their throats and raise an eyebrow in our direction.

I do not believe it is up to me to be responsible for monitoring another adult's actions to ensure they stay amiable. I have no desire to be any person's parent - especially another grown up. We all must be accountable for our own actions and choices, and not use the excuse of "no one called me on it" as an out for poor behavior, or a lack of personal will power.

Other random thought this morning: "wow its really really foggy out here. It would supremely suck if a moose wondered onto the highway infront of me right now... ooh, I love this song!"

I got to actually be a fire fighter yesterday. It wasn't anything really big, just a chimney fire, but it was fun none the less. I got to clamber up the ariel ladder, drop some chimney bombs and other general fire fightery type stuff.

It was a nice break from EMS for a bit.

I have another fire course this weekend (and next weekend). Once that is complete I shall only have 2 more courses and I shall be certified. Not sure what that means really. I suppose I have a piece of paper that states I SHOULD know x, y and z about fire fighting. Unlike EMS there is no provincial standard or certification required. Most fire agencies require you to have or to be interested in getting your 10-01's (the certification). Some of them, such as Calgary Fire Dept. will have you take them again even if you have it, just to be sure everyone is uniformly taught. Most small rural services are staffed by a smattering of volunteer locals who have a varied amount of experience and training. This is how I came about my certification. It has been done on a very casual basis over the last 5 years as classes become available and fit into my schedule. The perk of doing it this way is that it is free! -well, free if you don't count volunteer hours at the halls or at pancake breakfasts. So in the past 5 years I have managed to trade a little of my time for about 19000.00$ of courses. Not a bad trade.

I don't think I would ever go into fire fighting full time. It really doesn't suit my personality. I much perfer doing the delegation rather than being delegated to. However, it is a nice change once and a while. The added perk of a wee bit more job security and employment options are also pleasent.

By next year I should be done. I am kind of excited to have a piece of paper. Mostly I think it is a sense of completion. I love finishing projects.

One perk about having a birthday on thanksgiving every year is that it almost guarentees that your birthday will be bubbling over with family and friends. And it was again this year for me. It was fantastic!

Friday started off with making it home from work. I was a little worried I was going to get home due to the blizzard all day thursday. But those good ol' boys at Volker came through again and the roads were plowed all the way to the highway. 3" of snow overnight.
Catalytic and my work partner and I all headed off to see Zombieland. It was AWESOME!!! Two hours of gratuitous, sensless, vivid zombie killing violence and gore! Woot!
My super smart techno peep T took me out for some Moti Mahal indian curry numminess that rocked, as did the company.

Saturday was a little halloween decorational fun. I swung by the most evil Michaels craft store and found a cob web fence with pumpkins on top of the posts that is 1/12 size, as well as a string of 4 jack o' lanterns that light up. Both items look amazing on my Addams family doll house. I am really looking forward to decorating it more for each season. I had an idea of each christmas having Santa die in a new and unusual way somewhere in the house. :D Or the easter bunny etc.... My winter project is to make an electrical chair and guillatine for the kids play room. I also want to install a circular window in the attic area that is stain glassed similar to the window in Lemony Snicketts.
Sat night was a Hedonist dinner / birthday fondu for me. Canadian Knight brought a wine that was so amazing! I am sorry I can't remember the name (I was a wee bit tipsy and some of the details are a little fuzzy) but I seriously could have spent all evening just breathing in the nose of this wine. It smelled of being cacooned dryer warmed dark crimson velvet. Orgasmic. And so smooth! sigh.. I found out that although the linear theory of time only has be being around 36 years, the Wii feels I am more of the 45 year old variety. What the HELL??? I think the Wii fit managed to piss everyone in the room off that night. It probably didn't help our scores that the sensor pad was backwards for most of the night. lol.
Sunday was going to be a Heritage park day with the tribe. It was considered too cold for the kids and extended family was in town which doesn't happen often, so it was rain chequed. I was seriously considering going just myself or with T, but even I decided -14 was too much cold. So the day was lovely and full of cups of tea and reading while snuggled up in a blanket. We hosted the tribe turkey dinner which was full of warm homey goodness. Between all my friends, tribe, family, and comforts of living I KNOW I am truely blessed. I don't ever want to forget that.

Monday was more house decorations. This year's theme for the house is The Black Plague. I assembled my 6' skeleton "Timmy" as a grim reaper which is now suspended from the eaves of the front of the house. My spray paint died and I need to get more to finish the death cart that will be heaping with body bits. My goal at work this week is to make the german Dr. with the 'bird mask' from the manuscript picture.
The good Dr will preside over the death wagon. The finishing touches will be the red X on the door, and perhaps a faux boarding up of the windows. That last will be time dependent.
Monday dinner was thanksgiving with the family at my parents house. It is really great to see everyone. Even my eldest brothers SO showed up. It was fantastic to sit an talk with her, as it was with everyone. My mother, bless her soul, got me a regular birthday cake for my birthday this year. Historicly my 'cake' has been a candle in the middle of the pumpkin pie we were going to have anyways. It was funny, then ok for many years. Recently I realize I have become a wee bit bitter about it. But not this year! I got a regular cake. I did feel rather sheepish when I chose to use that wee bit of epigastric space for a piece of pumpkin pie though. .. In my defence, I had not had any yet this year! And it was home made! (blush) I fully intend to revel in my birthday cake tonight though. Thank you mom for caring about this petty thing for me, I totally appreciate it. :>

36. It may not seem old, but by 2130 hrs I was ready to crawl into bed and crash. It had been a wicked busy, wicked fun weekend. I was toasty warm from a long hot shower and the bed called to me in a most seductive way. I honestly don't remember my head hitting the pillow.

Its back to the grind today. I have been watching the snow machines spraying the magical whiteness all over Nakiska Ski hill today. They hope to open for the first weekend of Nov. With all this cold weather and mother nature adding a little snow of her own they just may do it. Smiling, I say "bring on the carnage!" I love my job!

Spent 3 wonderful and relaxing days chilling out at the annual tree house retreat
Had a moor mud wrap andat a hoity toity spa
Spent wonderful nights curled up on the couch with the ones I love catching up on L word, Boston Legal and Oscar movies (still trying to finish that list!)
Built a cold air return out of a cast iron victorian grate
Installed a beam in my kitchen where there used to be a wall
Fixed the tile flooring in the dining room
Fixed the paint job in the dining room
Made 30 jars of salsa
Discovered some fabulous super tasty gluten free recipies for the Gifted family
Installed a new battery in my dead motorbike - ITS ALIVE!!!
Scrapbooked (blush)
Got my air brake endoresement on my license so now I can drive the fire trucks as well
Had coffee and caught up with many friends
Played xbox on the big screen at Chinook Cinema for my husbands birthday.
Finished the new Beetles release for rockband with a group of good friends. (it was not as good as I had hoped)
Went kayaking with my brother at Bow Island Resevoir and found some fossils and cool rocks on the shore
Spent some spirit fulfilling days with Giftedspirit
Held a candle light party
Had wenie roasts and games nights with family and friends
Got to watch a five year old get super excited about getting popcorn seasonings and cheese as a birthday gift. -odd child.
Managed to not fall out of the Birch tree I pruned
Did the brickwork for a raised flower bed in my front yard.
Pruned the diseased branches from the spruce in the back yard
Saw the play Shakespear's Dog with Shaav (thanks again so much for that (J too!))
Got rear -ended on my motorbike. Luckily it was at super slow speed and no one was hurt. My bike needs a new tail pipe though and they no longer make them :(
Took a day bike tour out to Vulcan Alberta
Played many wicked games of Carcassone
Kayaked the Glenmore resevoir and was stunned at all the beautiful fall colors
Did a photo morning with a couple of friends at the Union Cemetary in Calgary
Went wall climbing with my knight and a friend. I have not done that in about 6 years. You can bet I was feeling that the next day!

I am sure there was more, but I can't seem to recall it now. I blame the cataracts (inside joke). All in all it was a wicked holiday. I'm glad to be back at work to recoup.

We had another fantastic party! Thanks to everyone who showed up. I think our friends are showing a marked improvement at spearing beer each and every year. Extra kudos to the kind people who helped clean up, and dispose of that pesky bacon that was hanging around the kitchen the next morning.

All in all it was a fantastic weekend filled with friends and loved ones. I have such an awesome life!

My husband rocks! 'nuf said.

Last time I posted the lyrics to Green Days "Time of your life" song. I love this song, not just because it is an awesome piece of music but that the words also speek to me.
Recently a 24 year old died very suddenly in Kananaskis, as did a 36 year old. Both people were killed doing the things they loved.

The awareness that death is almost completely unpredictable coupled with an acute sense of how little time we each have here has had me thoughtful lately.

I have been considering how little time I have here, and considering the things I am waiting for. I am contemplating at which point is waiting a non-productive use of precious time, or if it is maintaining hope for possibilites that may or may not come to fruition. I am wondering if I am appreciating opportunities and experiences that present themselves to the fullest.

I am fairly certain that both of those young people that died had no incling when they woke up on the day of their death that it was going to be their final day here. They most likely woke up looking forward to a fun day of enjoying their favorite activity.

Given our short time at existance should we wait? Or should we seize every moment as an opportunity to expand our minds, spirits and hearts.

If we do decide to hold out with hope, putting our possibilities on hold for something desired, at what point does it become so unlikely to occur that we Should move on? I suppose that comes down to when does hope run out. Weighing hope and desire against time and probablility on a set of scales.

I hope I pass on doing the things I love so much. I most likely will since I don't usually waste my time doing things I don't enjoy. I know my profession has given me a manic / panic perception of our allotted time and that coupled with an inexhaustable curiosity for all things makes me appear insatiable to some.

Life is just so full of awesomeness! There is SO MUCH to see, do, taste, experience, smell. Idling in neutral scares me. Straight up, that is what it is. Missing life scares me. Because I woke up this morning doesn't mean I won't be dead by tonight. Did I enjoy that last hour? It may be my last. Did I spend it waiting or living?

-Welcome to Madeileen's neurosis.

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

first black bear with two cubs spotted of the year
first Mt Kidd RV park ice cream
first call in 6 tours - thanks g.s! maimed but not dead!

yes, all the makings of a great day. Topped off with sunny skies and freshly powdered mountains.

So for the month of April I endevored to not purchase anything but consumables packaged in re-cyclable packaging.

I ended up purchasing about $150.00 worth of stuff. There were a couple of dinners at restaurants / coffees, some groceries and a bar of soap.

Of the recycling challenge I think I did fairly well execept for the last weekend. Three syrofoam "plates" snuck in with the groceries. I was doing so well!!! Technically syrofoam can be recycled (usually listed as #6) and it is one of the few items that can be easily recycled into more styrofoam. However, there doesn't seem to be anyone doing that. So it ends up in the land fills -sigh.

On the plus side: Ursa minor hooked me up with free cycle calgary. It is truly evil. It also appears to be in set up in most major cities. I recommend that anyone with dutch / packrat mentalities avoid signing up. Nature abhores a vaccuume.
The city of Calgary has started its recycling pick ups. After the first week they reported having 2/3 more of a response to it than they expected. So they need to re-vamp their origional projections. I am totally applauding Calgaryians! As Catalytic pointed out - it was obviously much needed and over due.

Summer is booking up for me. May is almost full already and June is well on its way. I need more than 24 hrs in a day!

Catalytic and I have been out riding our motorbikes. It so totally rocks. I so want a crotch rocket. :> Right now I have a Suzuki 550 which works really well for me, but I dream of my BMW RT 1200 or my aprilla..... sigh.

The garden is starting to come along. I am hoping to put seed to ground this next tour off. I know it is not the may long weekend yet, but I have faith.

Catalytic started his new job the other day and it seems to be a good fit with him.

Life is busy and mostly good. ... as usual. :>

For the month of April I have made it a challenge of mine to not purchase anything other than consumables that has only recyclable packaging. One of my main motivations for this was being inspired by a group from Vancouver that has vowed to do the same for a year to become aware of our society's gross consumerism.
So as of two weeks in I have purchase 75$ in groceries, all of which can be recycled execpt for a tetra pack. I totally didnt think about that when I purchase the chicken stock. I was too focused on how awesome the risotto was going to be. Perhaps I shall make amends by using the tetra pack for some seedlings I am starting for my veggie garden. That may asage my guilt - technicly recycling....
I won't say I have not had the urge to buy stuff. I have been keen to get my hands an a kayaking guidebook for the Red Deer river to supplement my plans and dreams of this summer. But that can easily wait for May. I have been sorely tempted by the ever evil Michaels craft store and their uber aisle of scrapbook paper. Honestly, I have a folder full of paper, and certainly don't need more for a while. So what is this craving? This desire I keep having to go into stores. My mind keeps attempting to seduce me with seductive words like "we'll only go and look - window shop. It doesn't mean we have to buy anything." Yeah right. I know my weaknesses. There is definatly this compulsion to have. The thrill of instant gratification of aquiring STUFF. There is a mental addition that has us convinces that STUFF = HAPPY. There are moments where I am getting seriously bummed that I am not allowing myself to go and get more stuff. I don't NEED stuff. I have lots of stuff at home. In fact I have so much stuff that I have another building to store some of it in. I have closets of stuff waiting to be made into other stuff, I have rooms filled with stuff that have been there so long I have forgotten about their existance.
I admire my older brother and his ernest effort for several years to free himself from the consumerist yolk of needing stuff. I can completely see his point. It was sharply brought to my attention this past summer when I was helping a friend clean out his basement that was full of -you guessed it- stuff. We brought a lot of now useless STUFF to the dump where we lined up with fourty odd so other cars also dumping car loads of now useless or unwanted STUFF into the landfills. The two of us were discussing how nature abhores a vacuume and soon most of these people will be out buying more STUFF to fill the void they created that day. We made several trips that day and each trip was the same. Cars lined door to door tossing out heaps of STUFF. If this was done like us - seven times that day - each and every day the mounds of STUFF that have filled that one land fill is mind boggling. Times that by three landfills in Calgary times how many in Canada - the world- It all very soon starts looking frighteningly close to the movie Walle.
So, with that in mind, I spent the evening scrapbooking with the paper I had, added another recycling bin to our house to encourage more recycling. My other goal is to have one grocery bag of garbage a week for the two of us. I did some internet searches on the Red Deer River and its topography. I made a mental plan to get my library card and see what guide books are available publicly. When I start feeling lazy about my impact on the planet I sit down and watch Walle again, and get re-dedicated to my goal.

working for a buddy out at station 94 (Priddis). It is just about as busy of a station as K country ie: not at all.

I am so not looking forward to the delivery of yet more snow. I am so freaking tired of the stuff. I know, I know, no one needs to hear yet another person bitch about the snow. I suppose I should be happy I am not out in K country tonight where there is a heavy snowfall warning. :>

It could always be worse. We could be in North Dakota! - ya eh.

I got to go to the zoo the other day with me mum and neices and catalytic. It was an awesome day to watch the Otters (my favorite), koalas, baby giraffe and I finally got to see the sting rays. I was very pleased to see that they no longer allow the dirty humans to "pet" the rays. Really how did they ever think that they could keep those suckers alive with hordes of walking petrie dishes fondeling the wee critters??? They were super cool and so graceful to watch.

Elephants poo out one Catalytic worth of poo every day, fyi.

so there you have it. Your life is complete now. :>

I read a short article in the recent Mountain equipment catalog about an appartment of three people in BC that have challenged each other to not buy anything but consumables that are only packaged in recylced packaging for one year. No books, no clothes, nothing but food and toiletries. They each have their own garbage can, and at the end of the year the person who has the least amount of garbage wins.

I have decided to take a similar challenge for one month. I don't think I can honestly sustain a year of it. I believe it will point out my consumerist / instant gratification cycle that is so supported by our society. Nothing points something out more than not being able to do it.

So for the month of April I am vowing to only buy food and toiletries. Those items I do buy must be packaged entierly in recyclable packaging. For one month I will make do with the mountains of "stuff" I already have.

If anyone had told me two years ago I would be scrap booking, let alone spending a weekend at a retreat doing nothing but I would have laughed in their face. Yet, I had a fabulous time this past weekend "gluing shit to paper". Scrapbooking is totally that kindergarden craft time I so loved, but with the adult touch of style. Not to mention I got to spend it chatting with two awesome friends. The hot tub rocked! :> (It wasn't ALL scrapbooking!)

I am always stunned at how long it takes to make a page. We arrived friday at 2 ish and left Sunday at 5 and I only completed 36 or so pages. Gifted_spirit went hard core and never went to bed sat night, opting to scrap book for about 38 hours straight. Crazy chick!

Canmore was beautiful as always. I highly recommend Treo restaurant if anyone is in the area. The food was beyond amazing, the restaurant quiet and spacious. I even got to say hi to Canadian Knight's mom who bopped in with her friend for dinner shortly after we got there.

I'm hoping to do some cross country skiing this week before the snow all melts. I am also eyeing a kayak trip with a buddy for mid summer. Should be fun. Three days paddling down the Red Deer River. Awesome-ness. The U of C also has an intermediate kayak course that is of a resonable price, and I am also considering that.

I am dying for the snow to melt in the city so I can get back on my motor bike and put some miles under my ass that way. Not to mention I have been pining for my garden more this winter than most. I have big plans.... :>

I took out another wall in my house. For those that know it the section between the kitchen and the hall is no more. It should rock for the parties. Now I just have to get motivated to finish the project. I am really good at the dismantle part.... LOL. sigh.

There is about a month left of the ski hill by work being open. After that we are plunged into the painful lull season. No skiers, no campers yet. Boring as HELL!!! That is until the May long weekend hits.

My french sucks, but none the less I am tutoring my friends 12 year old in it. My french may be bad, but it is better than his. Besides, making up the lessons, and then teaching it is an awesome way for me to learn / retain the info myself. And its rewarding in many ways.

I started up a photography group with my younger brother. We both kind of had a similar idea at the same time, of getting a bunch of photography types together to discuss, take photos etc. So we are collaborating and making it happen. If you are interested check out my facebook page under groups. (if you can find it with the annoying new format...)

Saw Watchman last week. It rocked! 'nuf said. (mind you I have not read the graphic novel)

That's pretty much that in a nut shell
peace out

A very super happy birthday to Ursa_Minor and Bork (I know I'm a day early). Here's hoping you both have a year filled with Uber Win!